Not a good year for funerals...

Well, this is a heckuva topic for this close to Christmas, but earlier this week I learned that yet another member of my extended family has died and I guess that's what got me thinking.

So far this year, I've lost an aunt (my dad's sister) and two cousins on my dad's side of the family. That's a lot for my family of long-livers! My dad's sisters and brothers are rapidly disappearing...out of nine children, only one, a sister, is left. While I realize this is a normal part of life and bound to happen, I'm not really ready to let go of my family! I don't imagine anyone is, so that's not some great profound thought that everyone reading this will want to write down. I suppose, though, that like many people, I thought my family would go on forever and live to be very old. When you consider that both of my deceased cousins were only in their 50's and 60's....well, that's not old - at least, not by my standards!

What has also sparked this rather mournful monologue is that today is the 35th anniversary of my dad's funeral. He was only 57 - much too young to pass away! Up until two days before he died, I still believed he'd get better and come home from the hospital. You have to realize that I was only 21, newly married, and "young and dumb" doesn't even begin to describe how I was back then - hence the delusion that my dad was too strong to pass away at such an early age. It was my neighbor, with whom I was staying at the time (in my 4th year of college), who gently sat me down and told me my dad would never go home.

The upshot of all this is that (1) never take your family for granted as you never know what will happen and (2) cherish your family and friends as much as possible!

That's my sermon for today - aren't you glad I waited this long to post again? Have a wonderful Merry Christmas!

What Is It With Kids Today?

This is a question that many people ask nowadays - why are children like they are, what makes them tick, why do they misbehave so much? More and more, at increasingly earlier ages, children are unable to control themselves in public (or private, but I am speaking from a public point of view).

Of course, some children can't help it - they suffer from some type of disability that affects the way they act. But what if the child has no discernible disabilities and yet still acts in such as way that he/she spends most of his/her time in the principal's office?

I had a conversation about this subject with a friend just the other day. He maintains that it has to do with poor home life. Through my work at school, it is obvious who has been trained in self-control at home, because it carries over to their everyday life at school. It is also all-too-painfully obvious that there are those who have NOT been trained at home, because teachers and the child's fellow students have to deal with inappropriate behaviors on a daily basis. It is so sad to see children with potential not be able to handle being in a classroom situation due to not being able to control their emotions.

Why is this happening? I don't think the answer is as simple as "bad home life", although it certainly plays a major role for most children. It's a combination of factors, such as what's in the food we eat, outside influences such as TV, movies, and the Internet, the ever-growing single-parent homes, medication, etc., etc. The fact is, no ONE thing is responsible and in some cases that makes it a lot harder to diagnose the problem and figure out a solution. Hopefully, through public awareness and people working hard to make a difference, a "cure" (for lack of a better word) will be found that will help our children, because, to quote a phrase, "they are our future".

Lest you think that all is bleak with our children, I can tell you that there are MANY wonderful children out there! Some of them are so darned cute! They are warm, loving, funny children who sidle up to give you a hug (when you most need one) or give the right answer in class when you don't always expect them to, or just wave and act glad to see you! These children are our future as well!

Having said all this, let me say that I LOVE my job! The pay is awful, but I absolutely LOVE working with children! Wish I had gone in this direction when we moved here 10 years ago. Had I only known...

Senior Citizens and Big Cars

Well, I started to call this blog "old people and big cars" but thought that sounded too disrespectful. Heaven knows, when I get into my 70's and 80's, I don't want anyone to call ME "old person". But I digress.

Yesterday, my husband, daughter, and I traveled to Richmond for my cousin's daughter's wedding. We had plans to come back the same day thanks to my needing to be at church on Sunday and chickens that had to be put to bed, etc. Of course, we got started later than I'd have liked, but we still started at a fairly decent time barring accidents or construction.

Our route takes us down several 2-lane roads. I dislike and despise going the interstate route, so we go down Rt. 122 to Rt. 460 at Bedford, then Rt. 24 over to Rt. 60, which at this time was perfect as it put us right where we needed to be in Richmond. Right after turning onto 122, I get behind a car....a BIG car with a guy in a fedora and a white-haired lady sitting next to him. No biggie at first, but then I noticed we NEVER went faster than around 40, maybe 45. "Maybe he'll speed up when we get past Burnt Chimney", I thought, but noooooo....if anything, he went slower! For those of you familiar with this road, you know there aren't many places to pass. Of course, when we got to where we could pass, he sped up. I was fuming (I'm a type-A driver). Also, every time there was an opportunity to pass legally, there were cars coming from the other direction, making it too dangerous to try. By the time we finally reached Rt. 460, a blessedly 4-lane road, I was almost at stroke level. Fortunately for the other guy, he kept going down Rt. 122, thus sparing me from doing bad things with my fingers....not that I would have :-)

I thought that was the last of the slow drivers - but, you guessed it, NOOOOOOO! We got behind one on the way back from Richmond - another big car with an older guy driving. Fortunately, he turned off before I reached my earlier almost-stroke level.

We have gone this way to Richmond many times, but never have I had so much trouble with slow drivers! I am not an extremely fast driver, but I DO like to drive the speed limit. There should be tickets given out for slower than normal driving as this is just as dangerous as driving too fast! DMV should then give all people who've been given a ticket for driving under the speed limit a test, and if they fail it (in other words, they think there are no speed limits faster than 45 or they say "but my car won't go that fast"), then YANK their licenses! They shouldn't be allowed out on the streets!

Enough ranting for today - I hope this satisfies my followers who've been telling me to post something!

The End of An Era

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, the death of one man this past week has signaled the end of an era at our church.

On Wednesday, the Rev. Johnny Wallace, aged almost 80, passed away in the hospital. Rev. Wallace, or "Johnny" as he was known to all in the church, was, without exaggeration, a friend to all. A retired minister, he never retired from ministering to people - be they in church or "on the outside". I'll never forget how for years he would try to get Carrie, my daughter, to speak to him...she was a little shy of adults and wouldn't always want to speak; however, he kept trying...Sunday after Sunday, until she finally responded. Some adults would've just given up, but he never did. That was the kind of person he was - a friend to ALL, not just adults!

A personal funny story: one Sunday our church was having one of our infamous "hymn sings", something I privately dub "stump the pianist and organist". When we have hymn sings, people in the congregation call out hymn numbers and we play one verse for all to sing. If I truly don't know it, I say so! Anyway, one Sunday Johnny called out a number - it was "Day by Day" which had been a popular song back in the day and I thought I'd be fine with it. Well, nooooooo...what a nightmare....written in some weird rhythm that I've never seen for that particular song - needless to say, it was a DISASTER! Later, I told Johnny that he was on the "forever banned to pick hymns" list - he just laughed and admitted that he had no idea it would turn out like that - he just liked the words!

Johnny was often called upon to preach when our minister was out of town and always had interesting, thought-provoking sermons. He delivered his last sermon just 10 days before his death at our church's 90th anniversary celebration. Even though he had been ill for several weeks prior to this event, he made every effort to be there and do his usual great job. He ascended the steps to the pulpit using a cane (something I had never seen him use) and he had to sit down part-way through the sermon (also something he had never done), but it made no difference to us or to the wonderful sermon he preached. Thank goodness, it was recorded and copies are available!

Johnny Wallace will never be forgotten by those who knew and loved him - not just his family, but also his church family. His great sense of humor, words of wisdom just when you needed them most, and friendly smile will always be remembered. His legacy will live on in our hearts, but we sure will miss the man!

The Joyful, Yet Sad, End of School

Well, I've been fussed at by several people because I have not posted for awhile. Being a "stepteacher" keeps you busy! Plus I try to write about significant things and sometimes I'm just not inspired.

However, in a couple of days, my life will change yet again as I enter the temporary ranks of the unemployed for the summer. Our school year is over on Wednesday, June 9, and thus will end a six-week chapter that I have thoroughly enjoyed - as a first grade teacher to 13 amazing young 'uns! They've made me laugh and pushed every one of my "buttons" - love 'em each and every one! We've gone on a field trip, had field day and Dairy Day, and the next couple of days will be filled with activities, parties, etc.

Of course, the children are loving the fact of no homework! They kept asking me about it until I finally told them I'd be happy to give them some which brought them to their senses! :-)

The hardest part of this job, other than organizing my lesson plans and doing report cards online (very challenging), is trying to keep them interested and engaged in what I'm saying. Needless to say, their attention spans aren't exactly monumentally long! I've found that letting them participate a LOT in the lesson is definitely the best way to go!

The best part was when I got to read books to them - I LOVED that! We read several "Junie B" books and others as part of the curriculum and I enjoyed trying to make the books come to life. There's nothing worse than someone just reading without any real expression - borrrring!!

The ironic part about all this is now that I've found what I really want to do when I grow up, the county is going through all sorts of money woes and laying teachers off right and left. Doesn't that just figure?? That doesn't exactly fill me with incentive to apply for a job when I meet good teachers who are not being rehired because they are unlucky enough to be first-year teachers.

So folks, the moral of my tale is to figure out what you want to do with your life when you're YOUNG. Even though I did go to school and got my teaching certificate, I was never able to find a job and quickly decided that I'd go in another direction - which I did for 25 years. While I don't really regret my time spent in insurance, I wish I had come into teaching much sooner. Ah well...

Who's Your Hero?

Funny how ideas for blogs come to mind...I was chatting yesterday with a friend about our dads and he said his dad was his hero. That got me to thinking about my dad, who's been gone for 35 years now. Even though it's been a long time, I still miss and remember him. Is he my hero? I'd have to say yes...but not for any one specific thing he did, but for a variety of smaller things he accomplished throughout his life.

He fought in World War II - and that's about all I ever knew about it until my cousin gave me some letters he'd written to her dad during those times. Even then, he was purposefully vague about what he was doing because, in those days, letters were censored. He never spoke about it to us and all I knew was that he was in a couple of different places like the Coit Tower in San Francisco and the South Pacific. I guess what he saw and went through was bad enough that he never wanted to share that with anyone. Even my mother knows little about those days. My brother has his trunk with all the Navy memorabilia in it which sheds more light - but it still would've been nice to hear about it from him. I kick myself sometimes for not asking!

My dad was a farmer and a teacher - and not necessarily in that order. While he ran our family farm here for at least 10+ years, his heart was in teaching and working with young people. Even today I'll meet adults who had him for math or agriculture and say how much they enjoyed him as a teacher. At times, he was a teacher AND a farmer, which must have been rough! He'd get up at 4:00 a.m., milk cows, get ready for school, teach all day, come home, milk again, and do whatever chores he could before going to bed. I can't imagine that kind of schedule, but he had little choice in the days when he didn't have outside help.

He also was a member of the Ruritan Club, Lion's Club, and several others that I don't remember...and was usually, at some time, president of said club! He was an outgoing and funny man who enjoyed people.

Okay, you ask, so where is this all going and what's the point? I guess my point is that you don't have to do one single thing in order to be a hero. You can be a hero in how you live your life. My dad was a hero to me in how he faced and dealt with his everyday life in the good and difficult times and how he faced and dealt with his impending death with cancer at the all-too-early age of 57 (one year older than I am now). Who knows what else he could have accomplished?? however, he accomplished enough in his relatively short life that he will always be remembered and loved by those who knew him. What more can anyone ask for?

Good News and Bad News - a day of mixed blessings

Well, it's been quite a week...I subbed on Monday which was unexpected and will add a day to my not-great totals for March/April. Thank you, Windy Gap! Then I started my tutoring on Tuesday and have done that every day the rest of the week. The hours are great - 10 to 3 p.m.! Thank you, Glade Hill Elementary! I love the children and am working with some I worked with last year, so that's a real bonus. This job will continue until I start my long-term sub in the next couple of weeks.

Now for the bad news....just talked to my mother and she's having trouble with her eyes. She suffers from glaucoma and has for quite awhile now, but has always been able to manage the pressure in her eyes until now. This morning at her dr. app't the pressure was quite high in both eyes, so she's on new meds and goes back on Monday. Hopefully, the new meds will help reduce the pressure. Prayers for her, please!

Now for the good news...just heard from an old friend I had lost touch with last summer! She's been going through hard times and I've been worried about her. Thanks be to God she's alright, even though she's not in a good situation. It was so good to hear her voice! We are "astrological twins" as we were born on the same day and year! Our friendship goes back to 1981 which, heavens! is almost 30 years!! Yikes! Can't believe it's been that long!

More good news...talked to someone at school today and chances are there may be a position open for my particular "talents"...keep all fingers and toes crossed!

As you can see - quite a mixed day, which I guess describes a lot of days, huh? Thus endeth my sermon for today....

On the road again...

Just got back from a great visit to Richmond! Carrie and I went down on Sunday afternoon (Gill stayed home to babysit the livestock) and got back Wednesday evening around 6:00. Boy, is it ever a long drive - but this time, we had company with us that made the drive seem shorter. Our neighbor and friend, Gail, and her daughter, Joanna, rode with us since Gail's mom lives in Richmond and they wanted to visit her. We managed to do a couple of things with them while there which made it nice for Carrie. We don't know any girls her age in Richmond anymore because all my friends' children are practically grown!

Many thanks to my cousin, Ginger, and her husband, Bob, for putting up with us during our stay. They saved me a lot of hotel money plus it's always fun being with them. One of the things I miss about not living in Richmond anymore is the opportunity to get together with them...we've been doing it since before our kids were born which is around 30 years! So thanks again, you guys....

On Monday, we went to the Capitol Building, which had been renovated since the last time I was there - can't even remember when that was! We had a great tour guide and saw the new part as well as parts I remembered from before. My dad was in the House of Representatives back in the 50's, so I was able to locate his picture in one of the hallways. I took a picture with my camera phone, but it didn't turn out that well.

On Tuesday, Carrie and I went to visit some friends of ours and had a great time. Then, we went to Belle Isle - one of my all-time favorite places at the river (or I should say "rivah") in downtown Richmond. You get to it via a footbridge, then there are rocks in the river where you can sit, sunbathe, take off your shoes and dabble in the water, etc. Unfortunately, hundreds of people had the same great idea, so even though it was late in the afternoon (we went after the boys got off work), there were rocks full of people everywhere we went! We finally found some space at the back of the island, Carrie took off her shoes and socks and stuck her feet in the water, and everyone was happy. Then we ate at Mary Angela's, a little Italian place in Carytown - good pizza!!

On Wednesday, we met up with Gail and Joanna at Maymont Park, another one of my favorite places. It was HOT, but we managed to stay in shade as much as possible and toured through the Italian and Japanese gardens before leaving. I would've liked to have gone in the mansion, but they're charging now...what's up with that???

After leaving Maymont, we stopped at Tony's Italian Restaurant in the West End for lunch. Unfortunately, Tony wasn't there, so I wasn't able to give him a hard time - something I do every time I see him...he just makes it so easy....! Oh well - next time, Tony!!

Then came the drive back - the question I always ask myself "Now, why did I move again?" - but thanks to our passengers, the trip went fairly quickly and we were home in (almost) no time.

As they say: "A good time was had by all!" Weather was great, food was good, company even better...who could ask for anything more??!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me...

And this week, I got a great lesson in respect from a wonderful first-grade teacher here in the county. I will be filling in for her when she has her baby in a few weeks, so I spent a couple of days this past week observing and trying to remember all that she does during the day to keep her class going. Not only has she given me six-eight weeks of wonderful lesson plans (THANK YOU!!), but she also taught me great ways to interact with the children in a positive way and how to handle negative issues in a manner that does not shame the child, yet reminds him/her to make good choices.

For example, how she calls roll...instead of just blurting out the child's name and expecting a hand raised or a small voice yelling "here" or "present", she says "Good morning, Mr. or Ms. So-and-so" and the child is expected to LOOK at her and respond, "Good morning, Ms. (name)". This to me is a wonderful way to not only remind a child of his/her manners, but to show them they matter to the teacher by the respectful way she addresses them. I'm so impressed that I will do my best to carry on this tradition as well as others I have learned this week!

Respect....not always something we think about until we see such a great example that it has to be pointed out.

It just goes to show, it's always something...(Roseanne Roseannadanna)

Like, for example, taxes. It should be simple enough, right? We don't itemize, so how hard can it be?? Well, if last night is an example, pretty darned hard! We went over to Rocky Mount to get our taxes done and arrived pretty much right on time, only to be stopped by a locked door and a sign that said the place was "full". Since we were only 10 minutes past opening time, we had a difficult time believing they were full already. After checking back with the receptionist (twice), we finally got in, filled out the preliminary paperwork, and settled down to wait. We had no idea how long it would take since the place was having Internet problems...not a good sign...but hey, we'll wait, it should be up any time, right? Finally, a gentleman came in and fussed around with the computers and the routers and the what-have-yous (don't want to get too technical here), and TA-DAAAA, they had Internet! Why was it down? you ask. Well, apparently someone "moved something" and it messed things up. Go figure.

Now understand, it was already about two hours later that the Internet was restored. We were assured they would get to us "any moment now". About 20 "any moments" later, we were called over to the magic computer! Over we troop with all our paperwork clasped in our hands, we sit down, our info comes up on the screen, and we just KNEW we'd be outta there in no time! YESSSSS!!! They started entering our data, when a major snag came up about our investments. Long story short, we were unable to complete the process and our taxes STILL ARE NOT DONE. To say the least, we were not happy campers going home.

The moral of the story, ladies and gentlemen, is KNOW your investments! We thought we did, but nooooo. It didn't help that the person trying to help us didn't really know what she was doing. I think she's used to very simple tax filing and we weren't it. Hopefully, this will all be over and done with by April 15. OY.

There are some great young people in this world!

For a great example, look no further than one of the elementary schools for whom I am a substitute teacher. I was assigned to a very special girl in the 5th grade who happened to have PE on the day I was with her. The 5th graders were being given another chance to qualify for a track-and-field trip to the 4-H Center later on this spring. This girl was having trouble meeting the mile qualifications. A 5th grade boy ran with her for the ENTIRE time and helped her qualify for the field trip! It made her day, my day, the PE teacher's day...you name it! I don't think she stopped smiling the rest of the day and she told everyone she met that she was going on the field trip! What really warms my heart is the fact that a boy of this age would voluntarily help a girl meet a goal such as this. I made sure to tell him how wonderful I thought it was that he helped her. He had already met his goal and had no real reason to run again except to help another classmate realize her goal.

Another boy in this same class ran the entire mile with a fellow classmate (boy) and helped him qualify as well. I don't know if I'd be able to run a mile for myself, much less to help someone else!!

Later that same day, my special girl and I had to leave class to see the nurse. When we got back, the person sitting next to her was writing down notes from the board on this girl's behalf. She had to catch up on her own notebook after we got back. I made sure to tell her how much I appreciated her doing this.

It warms my heart and gives me hope for the future to see examples such as this. I know for every good example there are probably two bad...but let's take time to recognize and appreciate the good that all too often goes unnoticed or under-appreciated!

And that is my sermon for today, folks...

Well, here I go....

Here I am, trying to join the rest of the human race, all of whom appear to have a blog of some sort. I wanted to name mine "The Farmer's Wife" since my husband, Gill, is one...a farmer, not a wife! but naturally, that name was taken! DARN! So I picked a phrase that I saw on a bumper sticker back in the 70's - "Oboe is a four-letter word". Boy, is it ever! Try playing one sometime! They don't call it the "agony tube" for nothing!

A little background...I grew up in this farmhouse and on this farm on which we are now living, but left in 1975 to get married and move to Richmond. My sons, Jason and Justin, were born, I got divorced, and lived in Richmond until 2000, when my second husband, Gill, daughter, Carrie, and I moved back to the farmhouse. And they say you can never go home again! The boys declined to move back with us as they were in their late teens and fond of Richmond. I miss them a lot! but they are good about visiting us on a regular basis. Carrie was only 2 when we moved here, so she doesn't remember Richmond, although she's pretty familiar with it since we take her there as often as possible.

It has been an interesting experience living here after so many (25) years away...some good, some bad. It has been great living near my mother and aunt these past 10 years. It's been a surreal experience living in a house I never thought I'd live in again! We have tried to do some work - updating, redecorating, etc. - but it has been slow. We are in the process of raising chickens and we have a horse as well as the usual dog and cats. Gill has at least 32 projects he wants to do so that keeps him busy outside of the house. My current project is that I'm repainting the "old" kitchen (we have two) so we can eventually use that as the main kitchen...more room in there.

The bad part is that I still miss Richmond and my sons and friends who live there. Carrie misses her brothers as well! Twenty-five years is a long time to live somewhere and it's where I "grew up" as an adult. I also miss the shopping, my old church (the way it used to be) and just...Richmond...I know it better than Roanoke even now! I've talked to others who live here who feel the same way, which helps. I love it here, but....remember the Neil Diamond song "I Am, I Said" and the line that talks about being torn between two shores? That would be me!

Well, enough of the maudlin. I think this post is long enough for a first time - everyone is probably asleep by now. Will write more later.